When someone offends you….
Don’t rush off in a huff to yell at that person.
He who answers a matter before he hears it, It is folly and shame to him. (AMP)
He who has knowledge spares his words, and a man of understanding has a cool spirit.
Don’t go talking to other people about it.
He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, therefore do not associate with a
“out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” (NKJV)
Don’t dwell on it and analyze it, thereby making a molehill into a mountain in your mind. Don’t allow offense to fester and take up space in your mind.
For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. (NKJV)
Whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.
Don’t prejudge the other person, trying to analyze why they might have acted or said what they did. You don’t know and their intention might not have been to intentionally offend you. Do not assume that you know the motives or thoughts of the other person.
He who answers a matter before he hears it, It is folly and shame to him. (NKJV)
Deal with any feelings of anger or resentment you might have.
A fool’s wrath is quickly and openly known, but a prudent man ignores an insult. (AMP)
Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath. (NKJV)
Do go talk to that person alone about it. If it’s not big enough to approach the person about it, then let it go. Approach the other person in humility, realizing that this is not an opportunity for you to vent your anger. If you have anger, you need to deal with that first.
If your brother wrongs you, go and show him his fault, between you and him privately. If he listens to you, you have won back your brother.
When someone comes to you to complain about another person …
Don’t listen. If someone is dumping their trash on you, it’s because you have your lid open. Is your ear a trash can?
Don’t join in and participate in the gossip, thereby becoming just as guilty as the person venting their anger.
He who passes by and meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who takes a dog by the ears.
Do advise the complainer to go reconcile with the person who offended them, and if they don’t want to do that, then they need to let it go to avoid sin festering in their heart. (Matthew 18:15)
You can protect yourself from any and all future offense if you …
Fill your thoughts and heart with God’s Word and His presence. If you’re so occupied with walking with God, everything else will seem unimportant.
Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them. (KJV)